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Hello! so, here I am, with a new topic!

Hello, my lovely bookworms! Welcome back to another round of Let’s Talk Bookish! This week’s topic is a fun (and slightly chaotic) one—TBR Roulette, inspired by those of us who have way too many unread books lurking in the shadows of our shelves, whispering “Pick me next!”

The prompt this week asks: What makes you keep a book on your TBR? And to make it even more interesting, we’re supposed to use a random number generator to “spin the wheel” and choose five random books from our TBR list—then share why they’re still there, what made us add them, and whether we still plan to read them or if they’ve overstayed their welcome.

So grab your beverage of choice, because we’re about to expose my questionable TBR habits.

What Makes a Book Stay on My TBR?

Ah, the eternal question. Why do I keep certain books on my TBR even though I haven’t touched them in five years? The answer, friends, is a combination of hope, guilt, and delusion.

Let’s break it down:

• Hope: Maybe this will be my next five-star read… once I’m in just the right mood.
• Guilt: I bought it. With money. Real, adult money. If I delete it, it’s like setting $17.99 on fire.
• Delusion: I swear I’ll read that 900-page fantasy series someday. (Just not this year. Or next year.)
• Aesthetics: The cover is too pretty to remove. I might not read it, but it looks good on my shelf, okay?

At this point, my TBR has stopped being a “to be read” list and has evolved into an emotional support archive.

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Time to Spin the Wheel 🎲

My current TBR is sitting at a horrifying uncountable number of books (I counted so you don’t have to). I fired up a random number generator, sacrificed a bit of my dignity, and rolled five times. Here’s what the universe picked for me:

🎯 #48 – 🎯 #6 – “Heated Rivalry” by Rachel Reid

Why I added it:
Let me paint the picture: two professional hockey players, both insanely talented, both wildly competitive, and both completely, utterly obsessed with each other—in every way except the one they’ll admit out loud. It’s enemies to lovers with a side of secret relationship and an extra shot of emotional torment. When I first stumbled upon this book in 2020, I read the blurb and immediately thought, “Oh no… this will ruin me. Add to TBR immediately.”

As someone who thrives on angst and pining, this book was basically written to emotionally destroy me. The idea of two rivals who have to face off on the ice in front of thousands of fans—while secretly sharing hotel rooms and heartbreak in the background—just does something to my soul. I’m a sucker for tension you could slice with a skate blade, and Rachel Reid’s reputation for writing raw, authentic relationships sealed the deal.

Also, can we talk about the setting? Hockey romances always come with that perfect mix of locker-room banter, adrenaline, and vulnerability hidden behind tough-guy bravado. Add in the fact that these two men are public enemies on the rink but soulmates in private, and you’ve got a story that promises equal parts sweat, heartbreak, and redemption.

How long it’s been there:
Since 2020—which means it’s survived multiple reading slumps, countless TBR purges, and at least four phases of me saying, “I’ll read it next month.” Every time I scroll through my list, I see it sitting there, judging me silently, waiting for the day I’m brave enough to dive in.

Do I still want to read it?
Oh, absolutely. But I know myself—I’ll need emotional armor and probably a box of tissues. Every single review I’ve seen warns that it’s one of those stories that breaks your heart and somehow makes you grateful for the pain. You finish it gutted but glowing, clutching your Kindle like it personally betrayed you.

Basically, “Heated Rivalry” isn’t just a book I want to read—it’s a full-blown emotional event I need to mentally prepare for. One of these days, when I’m ready to have my heart melted, shattered, and lovingly taped back together, Shane and Ilya’s story is getting its moment. Until then, it’s sitting near the top of my TBR, taunting me like the beautiful, tragic hockey masterpiece it is.

🎯 #122 – 🎯 #6 – “Heated Rivalry” by Rachel Reid

Why I added it:
Okay, picture this: two professional hockey players, both ridiculously talented, both alpha-level competitive, and both secretly obsessed with each other—but they can’t say that out loud because, well, they’re supposed to be mortal enemies. That premise alone had me clicking “add to TBR” faster than a slapshot in overtime.

When I first came across Heated Rivalry in 2020, I was deep in my “give me angst or give me death” era. I saw the words enemies to lovers, secret relationship, and sports romance and immediately knew this would emotionally obliterate me in the best way possible. I didn’t even need to finish the blurb. My brain just went: Oh, it’s going to hurt? Perfect. Add it.

And honestly, it’s everything I love about hockey romance rolled into one glorious, gut-punch of a book. The ice-cold tension between rivals, the sweaty locker rooms filled with sarcasm and repressed feelings, the quiet vulnerability that slips through between games—it’s literary gold. These two men face off on the rink, exchanging sharp words and even sharper looks, and then turn around and burn up the page with a love that’s both forbidden and inevitable.

It’s not just a romance; it’s a war of emotions fought in penalty boxes and hotel rooms. There’s something about the juxtaposition of aggression and intimacy, of violence and tenderness, that Rachel Reid captures so beautifully. And let’s be real—sports romances hit differently when they blend emotional damage with athletic tension. I can practically hear the skates scraping the ice as they fight to keep their feelings under wraps.

Also, the reviews? Everyone talks about how it’s one of the most real portrayals of love between two rivals—raw, flawed, and human. It’s not just smirks and sweat; it’s years of confusion, longing, and personal growth. Which means, yes, it’s going to ruin me. Gloriously.

How long it’s been there:
Since 2020—aka, it has survived the apocalypse of my TBR purges. Every year, I tell myself, “Okay, this is the year I read it,” and every year, I chicken out because I’m not emotionally stable enough to handle it. It’s been sitting there, quietly radiating angst from the digital shelf, like a hockey player in the penalty box just waiting for his chance to destroy me.

It’s weathered at least three reading slumps, one Kindle replacement, and about a dozen “fresh start” bookshelf reorganizations. Somehow, it always escapes deletion, which tells me deep down I know this book is special. It’s not just a title on my list—it’s a promise.

Do I still want to read it?
Oh, absolutely yes. But this isn’t a casual “I’ll read a few chapters before bed” kind of book. No, this is a “cancel my plans, stock up on snacks, and emotionally prepare to cry over fictional hockey players” kind of commitment. Everyone says it’s one of those reads that breaks you, heals you, and leaves you staring at the ceiling wondering what just happened.

People have described finishing it like going through a breakup and a therapy session at the same time—and weirdly, that just makes me want it more. I already know I’m going to cry, probably yell at my Kindle, and then immediately want to reread it.

So yes, “Heated Rivalry” stays firmly near the top of my TBR. It’s not just a book—it’s an emotional event. I’m saving it for the perfect weekend when I’m ready to be destroyed, reborn, and possibly develop an unhealthy attachment to fictional hockey players named Shane and Ilya.

Until then, it’ll keep haunting my TBR like the ghost of sports romances past—mocking me lovingly from the sidelines, whispering, “You’ll never be ready, but read me anyway.”

🎯 #7 – 🎯 #1 – “Twisted” by Ana Huang

Why I added it:
Let’s not sugarcoat it—this was 100% a BookTok made me do it moment. I was just minding my business, scrolling peacefully, when suddenly every video on my feed was screaming about this grumpy bodyguard + sunshine best friend’s sister romance that had readers losing their collective minds. The phrase “he’d burn the world for her” was tossed around like confetti, and my poor romance-loving heart didn’t stand a chance.

Also, that cover? Absolutely stunning. It’s the kind of cover that could probably get me to sign a legally binding reading contract without me realizing it. It has that “I’m sophisticated but will ruin your life” energy, which, let’s be real, is exactly the kind of chaos I’m into when it comes to my fictional men.

But the real kicker? The trope lineup. Protective bodyguard. Forbidden love. Pining so intense it practically requires medical attention. You could not build a more effective trap for me if you tried. I saw people saying Alex Volkov is the perfect mix of brooding, brilliant, and emotionally constipated—and I immediately knew he’d be my next favorite emotional disaster of a hero.

How long it’s been there:
Roughly a year, which feels like both forever and five minutes. It’s been sitting near the top of my TBR like a siren calling me to my doom. In that time, I’ve watched everyone else read it, gush about it, sob over it, and move on to the rest of the series—while I’m still here, guarding it like a dragon hoarding gold. Every time I open my reading app, I swear I can feel Alex and Ava staring at me like, “So… when are you going to get around to us?”

To make matters worse, I keep seeing fan edits, quotes, and memes that remind me why I added it in the first place. It’s reached the point where I know exactly what kind of emotional devastation awaits me—I’ve just been pretending I’m “waiting for the right mood,” which is code for “I’m scared of becoming obsessed.”

Do I still want to read it?
Oh, absolutely. If anything, my anticipation has only grown to unhealthy levels. Every time someone posts about the series, I feel my willpower crumble a little more. I know once I start, I’ll binge every book in the Twisted universe like it’s a competitive sport. I can already see myself falling into a full-blown Ana Huang spiral—highlighting lines that make me question my standards and sending screenshots to my friends with incoherent captions like “HELP HE SAID THIS???”

But that’s the magic of books like Twisted. They promise a mix of angst, longing, and just the right amount of steam to make you forget how to function. I’m fully aware that this book is going to take over my weekend, wreck my sleep schedule, and make me emotionally unavailable for days—and honestly? I can’t wait.

Final verdict:
It’s absolutely staying on my TBR—for now—but it’s dangerously close to becoming my next read. One bad day, one lonely Friday night, or one perfectly timed cup of coffee, and I’ll cave. Because let’s face it: I can only resist a morally gray, overprotective man for so long before I start wondering if I need a fictional bodyguard to supervise my reading choices.

When I finally do dive in, I fully expect to emerge changed, feral, and probably texting my friends at 2 a.m. with, “WHY DID NO ONE WARN ME THIS HARD??” And that, my friends, is exactly the kind of unhinged reading experience I live for.

🎯 #203 – 🎪 #7 – “The Night Circus” by Erin Morgenstern

Why I added it:
Ah, The Night Circus. This is the book that everyone told me would be whimsical, poetic, and life-changing—and honestly, they weren’t lying. I’m a sucker for anything with the word circus in it, provided it doesn’t involve terrifying clowns or death-defying stunts, and this promised magic, mystery, and romance in equal, intoxicating measure. When I first read the synopsis, I felt like I’d been handed a golden ticket to a world where impossible things happen, and you can get lost completely without leaving your chair.

The imagery alone is enough to keep me enthralled: a black-and-white circus that appears without warning, tents that hide unimaginable wonders, and characters whose lives are interwoven in ways that feel both fated and fragile. I added it to my TBR because it’s the kind of book that doesn’t just tell a story—it immerses you, enveloping your imagination like a foggy, enchanted night.

I also have a weakness for novels that feel like living inside a dream, where every scene could be a painting or a poem. Morgenstern’s writing promises that kind of lush, cinematic experience, and I knew I had to claim it for my collection. Basically, it’s one of those books that makes your inner bookish aesthetic scream with joy.

How long it’s been there:
Since dinosaurs roamed the earth—or at least it feels that way. I honestly can’t remember the exact year I added it, but it’s been hovering on my TBR longer than I care to admit, surviving multiple reading slumps, moving houses, and countless attempts at “organizing my shelves.” Every time I see it, I feel a twinge of excitement and a pang of guilt. It’s like a little magical specter, waiting patiently for me to finally enter its world.

Do I still want to read it?
Oh, absolutely. Every time I open it, I read a few sentences, sigh dreamily, and close it again, already planning the perfect reading scenario. I imagine myself in a candlelit cottage, maybe wearing a black turtleneck, a cup of tea in hand, letting the words sweep me away entirely. I know that once I start, I’ll be pulled into the circus’s maze of magic, intrigue, and quiet romance, completely losing track of time.

Final verdict:
The Night Circus isn’t just a book on my TBR—it’s a literary experience I’m saving for the right moment. It’s the kind of novel you read when you’re ready to let yourself be transported entirely, to feel the magic in every description and the suspense in every shadow. One day, when the timing is right, I’ll finally step inside Morgenstern’s circus and allow myself to be utterly enchanted. Until then, it sits, patiently waiting, like a black-and-white tent under a starry night, promising wonders just out of reach.

🎯 #285 – 🎯 #8 – “The Sweetest Oblivion” by Danielle Lori

Why I added it:
Let’s be honest—this was inevitable. Mafia romance is my ultimate guilty pleasure, and The Sweetest Oblivion promised everything I crave in one chaotic, delicious package. At its heart is a mafia prince—Nico Russo—who embodies the classic “I’m dangerous, I could ruin your life, but somehow you’re my weakness” trope that I live for. Combine that with a heroine who refuses to swoon easily, who challenges him and pushes back against his alpha energy, and you have a recipe for literary obsession.

When I first saw this on BookTok, the recommendations were relentless. “Nico Russo will ruin your standards for real men,” people warned, and I immediately knew that my romantic ideals were about to be shattered. The allure of a dangerous, morally gray hero balanced by a strong, clever heroine was irresistible. It’s the kind of story that doesn’t just promise tension and heat—it promises a fully immersive experience, where every whispered threat or stolen glance feels like a punch to the gut… in the best possible way.

Add in Danielle Lori’s reputation for writing deeply layered characters and relationships, and I knew this book wasn’t going to be a casual read. It’s intense, emotional, and unapologetically dark—all of which are exactly the kinds of qualities I crave in a mafia romance. This isn’t just a book; it’s a whole world of power, loyalty, and forbidden love wrapped up in one addictive narrative.

How long it’s been there:
Three years. Three long, agonizing years. This book has survived multiple purges of my TBR, countless attempts at “reading all the classics first,” and about a dozen other shiny distractions. And yet, it sits there patiently, silently reminding me that one day, I’ll have to confront the emotional hurricane that is Nico Russo. The fact that it’s still here after all this time only proves that some stories are meant to linger until you’re truly ready to be consumed by them.

Do I still want to read it?
Yes, without a doubt. If anything, the anticipation has grown more delicious over time. I know the second I open it, I’ll be pulled into the tension, the intensity, and the undeniable chemistry that has made *The Sweetest O

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What did I learn from this little game of TBR Roulette?

1. My reading taste is chaotic.
2. I apparently have commitment issues with books.
3. I’m a literary hoarder.

But you know what? I’m okay with that. My TBR isn’t a list of shame—it’s a museum of my past reading phases: the “dark academia” era, the “romantic comedy to heal my soul” era, the “fantasy heroines with swords” era, and that brief but intense “maybe I’ll start reading classics again” moment that lasted exactly two chapters.

So, will I ever finish all 316 books? Absolutely not. But like a good fantasy series, the joy is in pretending I will.

Now it’s your turn—how many unread books are on your TBR, and are you brave enough to spin the wheel? Or are you still pretending your Goodreads “Want to Read” shelf isn’t a cry for help like mine?